I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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