how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
