I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
