Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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