Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
