Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
