I only kidnapped one of them. chill
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
