Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
