He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
