the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize