I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
