the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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