So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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