would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize