thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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