Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
