Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
