I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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