Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize