I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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