he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
