I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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