One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize