my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize