His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
