you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
