We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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