would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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