you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize