he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
