Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
