How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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