bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
