Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
