What a fucking waste of an outfit
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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