Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize