I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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