Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
