I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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