she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
