In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
