why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
