sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
