You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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