hell yes lets make some ravioli
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She's the barista slut.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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