just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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