New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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