Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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