He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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