i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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