I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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