Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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