I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
