I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
