I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
