I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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