Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
