The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
